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I dreamed again about her last night. It hurt so bad. She was with another man and he had given her everything I couldn’t. She looked happy she still had scars but she was beautiful. He was happy but he didn’t love her the way I do. He was older and obviously had passion but he could never love her the way I do. I want her back but I don’t think he would ever let her go. I would give him anything but nothing he would want, love is just never enough. I shouldn’t have given up, I should have kept fighting, but all who thought she was beautiful didn’t care and those who thought they knew her just told me to run. Why did I listen? My parents never loved her; they made sure I knew it. All I can say is I miss her and want her back. She was a monster but none knew her soft side the way I do. I talked with him alone with a smile he kept telling me what they had done, ware they had been all the time she sat there silent. He looked at me, knowing I had something to say and all I could get out, with tears in my eyes, was “it hurts so bad….its like letting…your…..it just hurts so bad.”…I want her back but now I have to forget her again.