Who knows?

So, I have heard it said that you could write a book about any one. I think this is true but who would care to read it? Please let me introduce myself, I’m a twenty two year old. Well that’s about ware this should end but I Want to look busy because I’m sitting in Starbucks and every one ells looks busy on there Dells and Macs doing something important. Something ells about me I am broke. That’s why my computer sucks, I’m drinking tea, because its three dollars cheaper then the delicious espresso, and I can’t afford to get on the convenient Tmoble wireless network. Life kinda sucks but that’s ok. It is a new year and I can’t wait for the next one. My new year’s resolution was to quit …, it has only been about thirty six hours and I’m ready to quit quitting. What can I say, I’m a quitter.
I like watching people, but who doesn’t? There is an old lady here who is trying to hard to look young with her young daughter who is trying way to heard to look old. They are sitting here having a conversation that I can’t hear because the Chilli Peppers are playing little to loud in my ears. It must suck sitting and looking what you want in the face and knowing you can never have it, or that you can’t have it yet. The worst part of it is that neither is content and they would probably trade for what the other has only to be just as in content. It’s funny but too sad to laugh at.
So if you were in here looking at me could see through this persona that I am trying so heard to project? Probably, but there are things you would never guess, things I would probably never tell you because I would be to busy trying to figure you out from across the room to actually have a conversation with you. This is one of the saddest things about our culture, we could sit in a crowded room all day and never speak a word to any one. All we need to be able to do is order a drink and be able to punch in a credit card number so we can access the internet because it’s the only way to contact that friend in Denver who is always on instant messenger. Ya, he is a friend but I want to talk to some one now, for real, who is real and not going to sine off in the middle of the conversation and leave me sitting here alone, surrounded by people.
This is my plea just say hello. Don’t always walk past me avoiding eye contact and acting like you have something way better to do than look me in the eye and say hi. There is no better way to waste time than meeting people. Of all the things in the world there is nothing more interesting than people. When you can get past the show we put on for others you will see they are the best thing ever. Some of us are cute some of us are not bit it’s the ugly ones who are my favorite because they are a challenge. Beautiful people are usually dumb and it takes all of five minuets to figure them out. The ugly ones are a real treat because they are the masters of putting up walls and hiding who they really are. But if you can find an ugly person who is beautiful and you can see that beauty you may have found a life long friend or if you are an ass you can truly heart some one deeply and make them never show that beauty to the world again. The choice is yours. But it always starts with hello.
So I was reading a book trying to look like every one ells and I saw a someone I kind of know. He is a man who is having some struggles at the moment that I don’t think I should know about but I know you should know about them. He is just sitting across the room trying to look like no one but I recognized him. He didn’t recognize me because I am a no one but I went over and said “Hay man it’s Greg. I’m friends with your little brother.” “Oh, hay, how are you doing Greg?” he said and then we were off on awkward conversation about life I tried to tread softly on the touchy subjects and tried to steer the conversation toward work and travel. It went ok, I hope he does well and makes good decisions, he had been a real dumb whole of late but I think he is a good guy who just messed up. I hope we run into each other again because I know I would help him if I could.

So a lot has gone down in the last couple months I have made some very bad decisions and some very good ones. I have lived loved and now I’m back to blogging so not much has changed. I broke something a week ago and I don’t think I can fix it so I guess I’ll just pick up what’s left, put a smile on my face and move on.

I miss Colorado so much and I miss my friends there even more. I want to go home and see the mountains every day and never think about corn ever again.

Peace of Mind

I have an idea. And I hope is a good one. This is my coffee shop…..

…What do ya think? The floor plan is rough but I hope to have this up and running in Denver CO by 2010. This is a plan I have been working on for the past two years but I have been a little reserved in telling people because I fear it will crash and burn and I will be a failure. But I’m giving it to God in hope that he will make it better than I could ever dream. The plan is to have this be a homeless outreach center. As you can see in back there is a place to shower, wash clothes and rest and I will hopefully be able to keep food on hand to give out. And in the front of the shop there will be grate coffee and lots of books. I hope to facilitate a peaceful, unthreatening environment ware people who have questions can come and come in contact with people who have knowledge of scripture and have there questions answered. I do not want to be involved in a place that sets traps for potential Christians but rather a place ware the word can fall on fertile soil and God can take over. For this plan to work people with knowledge need to be involved. I hope to have Bible studies here and keep the shop open late into the evening. I know this is not a church but I fear evolving other churches because then their agendas may be in conflict with what I hope to produce. I want to show people Christ and instill a desire to be like him, a Christian; not a Lutheran, Catholic, Apostle of Christ or a Church of Christ Christian, but just a Christian. I want to tell the world about Jesus not about the conflicts within his body. Why should and infant in Christ be forced to take sides or leave? That’s not how Christ would do it. The seed needs to be planted and questions need to be answered but that’s as far as I will go with out God’s prompting. And if a person comes in wanting just a cup of coffee than he or she will get it, it’s up to God for anything ells.

Camp! Camp! Camp! Mike Yankoski! Chillen With Willy! elders meeting...

So I must tell you how this week has gone. I woke up early Saturday July 5^th and loaded up my things to go to camp. Several of the camp councilors went up a day early to get ready for camp. Not a bad trip I road with my host family, the Marenos, and spent the night. The next morning we prepared for the hoard of kids to arrive I got my Teepee and waited, anticipating the kids I would soon enjoy the week with. Willy, Cody, Cain and Avery were the ones who chose me as their councilor for the week, awesome kids! I can’t tell you every detail because I can’t remember them all, but I do remember the day Don Walker hurt himself it was the second day and I started hearing roomers that someone got hurt. I will spare you all the drama but Don’s truck started rolling backwards and Don was in the camper, he jumped out and was trying to get in the drivers side door and then got sandwiched between the door and a tree. Apparently there was a lot of blood coming out of his mouth and communication was difficult. He was taken to the hospital and we at camp received news that his lungs were filling with blood and that they were looking for the puncture. Every one was praying for him and then we found out there was no hole and things were going to be fine praise God. I believe there was a hole and God fixed it. Last update I heard Don was fighting off the doctors and nurses because he didn’t want pain killers. Camp went on and was a grate week several baptisms and, as always, wonderful conversations. Food was good, sleep was heard to get and God did what he wanted.

As I was leaving camp Brian said, “Hay Greg take a couple days off.” and I said, “ok!” I drove Don’s truck back to his house with no driver side door and then loaded up my stuff in my Jeep and headed off to Bend Oregon ware my sister lives with her husband and son. I had found out earlier this summer that Mike Yankoski was going to be speaking at the Antioch Church in Bend and I couldn’t miss this opportunity. Mike Yankoski is the author of the book Under the Overpass that is, with few exceptions, the best book I have ever read. I got to listen to this man speak about what he has done and what he planed to do but the best part is I got to meet him! We spoke, I tried so heard to not humiliate myself or suck up but I told him my plans and he was supportive and gave me advice! I actually just got an email from him and I have his phone number!!!! Sorry, I shouldn’t be bragging but I do hope God has things in mind for our paths to cross again.

The next day I got to take my nephew swimming at the public pool and we had a blast! I got some time to read and relax by the way I strongly recommend the book Unchristian. Well I’m sinning off because I now must go to an elders meeting. But this was a good week!

Christians are homophobic and proud.

I’m living in Oregon currently and am noticing a common trend. The people I live with and call my brothers and sisters are not living a life that resembles Christ's. Over and over I keep hearing Christians say things which I consider hateful. “Wow that guy looks like a flamer!” or “I’m glad we have bolt action rifles so I can hunt homosexuals,” or “I know I’m a homophobe but so what they’re sick.” Most are said in jest with flippancy but that is not the way of Christ. Matthew 19:19 Jesus replied, “Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, 19honor your father and mother, and love your neighbor as yourself.” Nothing groundbreaking there we have heard it many times but why do we find it so heard to love our neighbors as ourselves, why cant we even love our neighbors enough to stop saying this kind of crap long enough to tell them that we love them.

I can’t see Christ sitting on the side of the road joking with his followers about someone being poor, a prostitute, a thief, over weight, a gossip, or a homosexual. These people created in God’s image are loved dearly by him and they are our neighbors. If all we can do to those who have never done us injury, who live among us and only want respect is spew out this vial, hateful filth (out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks) how could we ever love our enemies? Luke 6:27-36 27"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. 30Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31Do to others as you would have them do to you. 32"If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. 33And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that. 34And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full. 35But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

These people have never done you harm! Stop hurting them! Stop your judging! Who are you to judge!?! Only God has that right! Be like Christ! And Stop taking his name if you wont fallow his teachings!

(None)

I dreamed again about her last night. It hurt so bad. She was with another man and he had given her everything I couldn’t. She looked happy she still had scars but she was beautiful. He was happy but he didn’t love her the way I do. He was older and obviously had passion but he could never love her the way I do. I want her back but I don’t think he would ever let her go. I would give him anything but nothing he would want, love is just never enough. I shouldn’t have given up, I should have kept fighting, but all who thought she was beautiful didn’t care and those who thought they knew her just told me to run. Why did I listen? My parents never loved her; they made sure I knew it. All I can say is I miss her and want her back. She was a monster but none knew her soft side the way I do. I talked with him alone with a smile he kept telling me what they had done, ware they had been all the time she sat there silent. He looked at me, knowing I had something to say and all I could get out, with tears in my eyes, was “it hurts so bad….its like letting…your…..it just hurts so bad.”…I want her back but now I have to forget her again.

Special?

If something isn’t special is it worth having? Some say yes, I think they are wrong. This is a blog, and not a good one, so I won’t support my opinion I’ll just state it.
Being special provides a basis for value of an object, and how special dictate that value. There are things today being passed off as special that are not, American Idol, Hannah Montana, Scions, Mrs. Clinton , Obama, and who ever the Republican is (side note: we defiantly won’t even care about at least two of these people in five years).
Something was said that got me thinking today “… it wasn’t even special… well, it was to… but not to…” now this is all it took to get me thinking about what should be special and being the Bible major I am I know the “right” answer: snowflakes.
Snowflakes are special and each one unique therefore is uniqueness a factor in how special an object is? Yes, unless you flood the market, being the resident of Colorado I am, I know if there is too much of that special, unique snow all over the place I have to pay someone to get rid of it, or, God forbid, I have to get rid of it myself. This snow being unique is supposed to be related to people being unique, because you can’t find to people who are exactly the same therefore we are all unique ergo special. (side note: if you ever use this comparison smack the kid who says “What about twins?” it knows the answer but it just wants to make you look stupid, then say “Only stupid people ask stupid questions.”)
So, back to my stupid question, “what is ‘special’?” the concept not things. Special equals value, uniqueness, availability, and I want to suppose individual perception. While watching the Simpsons I had an epiphany, as I often do. Homer and Bart start a coin collection and they only need one coin to complete it and try as they might, they can not find it. So, they go to an auction to find this rare penny, and they find themselves caught in a bidding war with the heartless, old miser Mr. Burns. Homer quickly tries to frighten off all other bidders by offering the astronomical sum of five dollars “cash” but in the end they are out done by the maniacal, ripened codgers bid of ten million dollars. Beaten and humble Homer approaches Burns’ limousine and begs for this coin so he can bring joy and a sense of accomplishment to his son. To this Burns laughs diabolically as if to scorn Homer’s selflessness and sacrifice, but before his triumphant exit Homer asks Burns if he has change for a nickel. Burns snatches the nickel, drops some change out the window and returns to his laughter as he speeds away boasting to Smithers of his shrewdness because he only gave that chump fore cents for his nickel, not realizing the mistake he had made until to late.
Mr. Burns gained one cent in this transaction but by doing so he lost nine million, nine hundred ninety nine thousand, nine hundred ninety nine dollars and ninety nine cents of his net worth. Not a smart move by any standard but his perception of that little peace of copper in a hasty moment was practically valueless, and he lost something extremely special.
Individual perception does not dictate value things are valuable whether one is aware or not. In contrast the opposite is also true some people think things are special even though they have no value, this is not always bad but sometimes it is pointless to society, but who cares about society? Well, I don’t, you might not, I don’t think she does, but he might, I know it doesn’t, but I think we should.
In summation special is personal but if something is special don’t mess it up, because someone ells will come along and be upset about your lack of respect. Hmmm… now I think everything is special in it’s own way and that’s a little to optimistic for me but still sad because if everything is special nothing is. I think I’m okay with not understanding this because I still know some things are worthless, common and unexciting so I still have hope of finding something special.